I Think That I Think Too Much

I had an amazing night last night. That makes 4 in row, all thanks to this boy I'm curiously attached to. We went to Winston's with Daniel and two of his friends and played trivia. It was pretty cool, we got third place, though we were in first for a long time. Logan dropped me off at home afterwards, but I got so bored since neither of the girls were home that I texted him and asked him to come over again, which he surprisingly did. I'm getting used to falling asleep next to this boy.
I have my interview at Pappasitos today at 4, and I'm pretty excited. I need to go home early and take a shower before heading over there.
It's beautifully sunny outside right now, and it makes me really happy, despite one of the boys at the office being an asshole to me, an odd occurance.
We discussed the future last night, and my mind drifted back to those days when Seve and I used to plan our future. Marriage when I turned 18, kids, moving somewhere exotic, maybe to Puerto Rico, where his family was. Painting over the walls in my old room was like painting over everything that we were, an experience I'm glad I was alone for. Seeing the orange paint, remembering that summer day we painted it with Dory and Josh, kissing with paint covering us, finding those rings on the window sill. Could that really have only been a few years ago? So many things have changed since then, since that one day. And not just between Seve and I, but in my entire life. Where am I going? I had my life so planned out, down to every detail, I was so sure that he was the one, that I was safe, that I could relax because I was never going to be alone again. But my world got rocked and everything came tumbling down.
It makes me scared to go through it again. That's why most of my relationships, even if they made it past a month, they never get too close before I push them away, or I date someone who lives far away so I never have to see them.
But I want this one to work.
Ok, I'm overanalyzing it again. I'm going to scare myself off from him.

I should go back to "work."